The more I relax, the more my RAD child relaxes. She literally reflects my emotions to me at nearly all times. It is scary sometimes. Sure, she has her own emotions and free will, but typically she is right with me.
When I am angry, she is angry. When I am sad, she is sad. When I am stressed... you get the picture.
And the energy it takes to raise an RAD kid - a LOT! IT is exhausting just to get to school some days. Going to bed at a decent hour, or even taking a shower is like asking the child to cut off her right arm for me.
But, when I truly let go, and let the natural consequences teach her the lessons of life, I am a lot calmer, and she picks up the responsibility! Imagine that!
Perhaps it's because the parents waited so long to have children that they develop a level of anxiety about parenting. The (usually) unconscious thought is, ",...I waited 6 years for your arrival, and paid over $15,000 for your adoption, and I'm not about to screw this up!"
That's why I love the Love and Logic group. They teach about empathy, and having a good relationship with your kids. They teach about self-care for the parent, and how to allow natural consequences to be the teacher.
Can you relate?